Don’t Date a Girl Who Climbs Mountains

So it seems my blog post, “Date a Guy Who Climbs Mountains,” has gained a little online popularity. Some people even went to the point of plagiarizing it. I’m guessing they’re either poor judges of good writing or they’re plagiarists with low self-esteem. If I’m going to plagiarize, I’d go for someone big, like an obscure Nobel Prize winner, and not some blabbering blogger who writes corny, cringe-inducing posts.

Since cheesiness sells, let’s do another one. Someone else has already written “Date a Girl Who Climbs Mountains” so this is my feeble attempt at irony. It’s still ultra-cheesy with a dash of bluntness and a pinch of self-serving platitude. Here goes.

Don’t date a girl who climbs mountains. Don’t go out with a girl whose idea of having a good time is to walk for hours in the middle of nowhere with a 10-kilogram load on her back. She’s the one with the dirty arm warmers, worn-out leggings, and a sunburned face that’s beyond repair of any whitening product.

Don’t date a girl who has no qualms about sleeping on the ground and doesn’t need a full-service bathroom to do her business. She will gross you out. She can go for days without taking a bath and reduce her vanity kit to a pack of wet wipes. She will snore, drool, burp and fart and it won’t be cute.

Be wary of the girl who has been to the summit. She won’t stop talking about the peaks she has reached. She’ll go on and on about every tree, beetle and sunset she has seen until your ears bleed. She stops on the trail to take pictures of wild mushrooms while you scratch your head and wonder why she’s fussing over a fungus.

Don’t ask out a girl who feels at home on a campsite. You won’t always be able to text or call her. She turns off her phone to conserve battery life and doesn’t mind the absence of network coverage.

You won’t see her daintily sipping a margarita. She chugs down cheap rum in an aluminum cup that’s being passed around to 20 other people. She can hold her liquor but she may also get drunk and puke her lungs out.

You won’t be the only man in her life. She goes on climbs with other guys, hangs out with them for days, and bonds with them over hot soup in the morning and raucous laughter during socials. She’s comfortable being one of the boys and doesn’t feel the need to explain herself to anyone.

Don’t date a girl who has traveled to remote places for a challenging climb. She has learned to face the world on her own. She won’t always need you. She won’t always look for you. She won’t always butter up your self-esteem or stroke your ego.

She loves with an intensity that pushes her to endure rough trails and grueling assaults. She pursues what she wants with a passion that drives her to reach the highest peaks. Her heart is stubborn and her resolve is strong.

Don’t date a girl who climbs mountains. Your shoes will get muddy, life will be messy and your world will never be the same again.

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191 thoughts on “Don’t Date a Girl Who Climbs Mountains

      1. len

        i used to climb 18yrs ago but im no longer active. d po ako familiar sa mountain dew na term (except sa softdrink). pwde po bang malaman kung ano ang mountain dew?

        Reply
    1. adventurouskikay

      hahah..very memorable sakin ang mountain dew..on my 1st climb, sa mt. tragapo, one of the member, inalok nya ako ng mountain dew, i thought literally mountain dew talaga…pero nung iinumin ko na, naamoy ko, ibang mountain dew pala…hahhahahahha..yun pala yun “Mountain Dew” :p

      Reply
      1. ana aureada

        Me too. Even sa office or kahit saan ako mountain dew Ng hinahanap ko. Sadyang ang sarap ng pakiramdam na umakyat… pahod hirap dumi pero kakaibang experiennce ang mararamdaman mo. Nakakatanggal ng pagod Lalot nakarating ka na sa tinatawag ng summit. Sa bundok kahit gaano kahirap basta may tyaga at determinasyon mararating at mararating natin ang pinaka tuktok nito.

        Reply
        1. gerald

          naka ilang akyat na din ako pero never pa ko bumili ng Mountain Dew na drinks para inumin sa peak. Bukod sa tubig at nestea, Gatorade palang ang pinaka bigatin :DD More climb in the Philippines!

          Reply
    2. Fay Ann Rosales

      i really like this part ma’am,…”She loves with an intensity that pushes her to endure rough trails and grueling assaults. She pursues what she wants with a passion that drives her to reach the highest peaks. Her heart is stubborn and her resolve is strong.” really nice po….

      Reply
  1. worddruid

    I don’t think people would be quick to substitute the pronouns with this one Tin. Kung sa babae, may pagka tongue in cheek, sa lalaki parang outright fact na hindi na appealing eh hahaha

    Reply
    1. Tintin Post author

      Thanks so much! You should try mountaineering sometime. You might also like it. 🙂 Kuya Bonz is the nicest guy. I met him when I was in Bukidnon last March and I hope to hang out with him again when I go back there next week. Are you also based in Bukidnon? I love that place; so beautiful, so many mountains to climb, so many places to explore. I actually dream of living there someday. 😀

      Reply
  2. Tatay Joni

    Hahaha! Love ko po ito, nakakatuwa po kayo mam–> “She can go for days without taking a bath and reduce her vanity kit to a pack of wet wipes. She will snore, drool, burp and fart and it won’t be cute.”

    Marry a mountaineer lady, she can walk from home to the market and back without complaining those heavy market products she carried.

    Marry a mountaineer lady, for if she already completed her mountaineering gears, she will not abuse your credit card limit with Chanel and Loui Vuitton bags.

    Marry a mountaineer lady, she can wake up early and prepare the food of your children before they go to school, you may not need a maid anymore.

    But don’t cheat on a mountaineer wife, she can stalk you with ease.

    🙂

    Reply
    1. Tintin Post author

      Yes, marry a girl who climbs mountains pero wag namang gawing kargador, yaya at maid. She will kick your ass. And she doesn’t need to abuse your credit card; she’s smart enough to earn her keep. 🙂

      Reply
  3. Tita

    Of all the articles of the same subject that did the rounds, this is the best one, the most down to earth rendition so far. The highest compliment ever that you could render to a mountain gal 🙂

    Reply
    1. Tintin Post author

      Thanks Tita! This may be largely self-serving since well, I’m a girl who climbs mountains so I’m essentially complimenting myself. Hehe. I’m glad you enjoyed it though!

      Reply
  4. bebejhonabelle

    love it! mas gusto ko to kesa sa “date a girl who climbs mountains”. mas intriguing ang mas challenging sa mga boys na makakabasa. =)

    Reply
  5. Jay De Guzman

    hi Tin, love this piece.

    – a guy who climbs mountains and is married to a lady who also climb mountains 🙂

    Reply
  6. porcalla santos

    nicely written. 🙂 wala yung mountain dew. (brings back memory yung first trek namin sa taal crater. 50 pesos na pinakamasarap na mountain dew .. hehe)

    Reply
    1. Tintin Post author

      Salamat! Oo nga, nakalimutan kong isama ang Mountain Dew. Hehe. Wow, dapat nga pinakamasarap yun kasi ang mahal, ang lupit ng patong sa presyo. Haha!

      Reply
  7. abstractadventures

    “she won’t always need you. she won’t always look for you. she won’t always butter up your self-esteem or stroke your ego.”

    tagos sa puso! an article i would have written myself. i think i’d even use a similar tone and choice of words, and would also mention mountain dew, hehehe. and damn, we use the same hiking shoes! cheers, kindred spirit! 😀

    Reply
  8. h0tchocolate

    great post! I like the last line 😀 “Don’t date a girl who climbs mountains. Your shoes will get muddy, life will be messy and your world will never be the same again”. So true! Best regards Kristin!

    Reply
  9. travelersquest

    after readind this blog… gusto ko na maging “girl who climbs mountains”… Bravo!!! Hope to meet you someday when i become one.. 🙂

    Reply
  10. Ktin

    I just read this! Great post! Tintin 🙂 I’m a mountain climber too and can sooo relate! Add the occasional dead toenails at that hahaha! Awesome post!

    Reply
  11. Maj Villacorya

    Nice one and its quite true but you can also meet a gurl as if she just stepped of a shower and wonder were did she put that extra vain kit on her pack and still remains ahead of you in the trails hehehe. Kudos!

    Reply
    1. Tintin Post author

      Thanks, Maj! Kudos to that girl, whoever she is. I never smell as if I just stepped out of the shower, even when I did just step out of the shower. Hehe.

      Reply
  12. Pingback: Don’t Ask Me Out On A Date | krestlessfeet

    1. Tintin Post author

      Ma’am po ako. 🙂 And I was actually going for irony and hyperbole in this post, which may not have worked out too well judging from your reaction. Hehe. Thanks for reading though!

      Reply
  13. zexzy38@gmail.com

    oh crap..you have some experience and very well educated about women who hikes .This Article is full of crap.Your opinion doesnt counts.obviously you didnt do your research well.
    Think well before you post shit like this.Enjoy your day!

    Reply
    1. Tintin Post author

      And a good day to you, too! 😀 *Memo to self: Brush up on employing literary devices. Irony doesn’t seem to come across too well on some people.*

      Reply
      1. worddruid

        wahahaha natawa ko rito, naoffend ata si mam. wahahaha kasi naman Tintin, not everybody is as receptive to walking sarcasms like ourselves. magresearch daw next time wahahahaha

        Reply
        1. Tintin Post author

          Oo nga eh, minura tuloy ako ng bongga. Hahahaha! Sorry na po.. Baka nga naman ang ibang babaeng umaakyat ng bundok ay hindi naghihilik, dumidighay at nauutot. Baka may sosyal na paraan ng gas excretion na hindi ko alam. Hiyang-hiya naman ako. Hehehe. Makapag-research na nga!

          Reply
          1. mtr. tundra_vendetta

            Ma’am, bka di yan mountaineer kaya di maka gets man lang o hindi nag aral ng general course ng english.

            Reply
  14. Glo Labao

    I have a lot of girlfriends who are into peak bagging and they are everything you said about them and more. I love reading this. 🙂

    Reply
  15. Napoleon Pebenito

    I normally hate reading long articles but when I did start, found myself finishing this to the last word. You write very well! No wonder some people plagiarize you. I must admit I’ve never been into mountain climbing except perhaps when I was a little boy struggling to reach my mom’s precious milk. I learned a lot about mountain climbers today!

    Reply
    1. Tintin Post author

      Thank you so much for the wonderful compliment! I have chronic writing diarrhea so I really appreciate it when people still take the time to finish reading my posts. 🙂

      Reply
  16. alex

    and that may be the reason why we’ve reached this far… coz damn! “she’s a mountaineer” ^_^ …very well said maam..

    Reply
  17. Pingback: Don’t Date a Girl Who Climbs Mountains – On the Contrary | For Love and Life, My Lines and Rhymes

  18. vivian lau

    not all the girls who climb mountain is like what you have described, they are many exception which I m one of them

    Reply
    1. Tintin Post author

      Thanks, Vivian. You’re right. This was never meant as an exhaustive description of the entire population of female mountain climbers. It’s a tongue-in-cheek blog post that I wrote for fun. I was trying to be funny and ironic, and I apologize if I didn’t succeed in conveying that to you. But thanks for reading. Best of luck on your climbs!

      Reply
  19. Tan Agnes

    Do not loose sight on the core of the meaning in this article, it speaks about girl/woman equally enjoys jungle as much as boy/man does, she learns to appreciate nature, in the process of roughing it out on the journey, she learns survival, she learns the joy of overcoming, she learns in all circumstances of difficulty n easiness, be as one with fellow trekkers in the same journey, carrying the same weight behind her back, facing the same fear if at all meet the ” big cat “, who cares about the mud and the dirt or even petty peosonality who comes in the way to achieve a feat !!!!!

    Hei, I share this article in The Trekkers in our FB page. thanks for sharing, u are humurous !!

    Reply
  20. Phoenix

    Hahahaa… another true lines from you!

    Yeah, you date a girl who climbs a mountain, be prepared to know that you are not the only “world” for her..

    Can’t help but to share this one too… 🙂

    Reply
  21. raiz

    very well written.. nakarelate ako eh! haha gusto ko na tuloy ulit umakyat.. it takes a supportive partner who would love u and accept u for who u are and who u want to be.. Im glad my partner is.. 🙂

    Reply
  22. Adrenaline Romance

    Very well said!
    I’m glad I found a partner who shares the same passion with me. Nothing beats to have a girlfriend who is a mountaineer and an outdoors person.
    Yes, she is independent and would carry her own backpack, but she is also more caring if you get cramps. She is selfless and worries more if you get tired on the trek or you feel cold from the rain. She gives you words of encouragement to not give up. She experiments and cooks gourmet meals with you. Most of all, she appreciates the simple life and beauty of nature with you, and I’m proud of her. 😉

    Reply
    1. Tintin Post author

      Good grief, dude, go easy on the cutesy couple cheesiness or the rest of us might go jump off a cliff. 😀

      Seriously though, I checked out your blog and you two are the cutest couple. It got me on a dreamy “aww, that’s so sweet!” mode. Haha. Wishing you more awesome adrenaline-filled adventures together. Thanks for dropping by!

      Reply
  23. mtr. tundra_vendetta

    Bago ang lahat, natutuwa ako sa picture ko dito. di lang mka sign up kya di macustomized.

    For this wonderful blog.

    “I love you.” na lang ang nasagot ng bf ko nung ipabasa ko to sa knya after asking him kung ide date pa nya ako. 🙂 He really appreciate your article 🙂

    Reply
    1. Tintin Post author

      Naka-set sa randomly generated monsters ang avatar if you don’t have your own photo kaya ganun. And yep, it’s cute! Hehe.

      Aww… you have the sweetest bf. I’m glad you both liked it!

      Reply
  24. desha

    Eh Tin,

    “You won’t be the only man in her life. She goes on climbs with other guys, hangs out with them for days, and bonds with them over hot soup in the morning and raucous laughter during socials. She’s comfortable being one of the boys and doesn’t feel the need to explain herself to anyone.”

    Isang malaking check ng pink na ballpen! 🙂

    Reply
      1. adventurouskikay

        Its up to the people around us…
        they only have 2 options,either Accept or Love us..,haha.dpat pareho positive ang options.
        Basta ako, I will never stop being a lady who climbs mountains because on the1st time Iclimbed, I know my heart was there and I can live with it 🙂

        Reply
  25. Pingback: Don’t Date a Girl Who Climbs Mountains | adventurouskikay

  26. squavex

    At first i was curious of the topic… It’s like curious on a mountain and want to climb… So i was hooked up on reading the article, like starting to climb and follow the trail of you imaginative mind through experience…on the trail of your story i find myself smiling like having a friend throwing jokes while walking side by side….hahahaha until i reach the peak of the article…. It’s really cool… and honest to reality of what mountaineering do for your survival and personal growth on the event of disconnecting oneself from his/her comfort zone…. Cheers!

    I hope i will meet this girl to be my climbuddy or travelbuddy….

    Reply
    1. Tintin Post author

      Wow, that was quite a journey just to read this post. Thank you so much! I hope you meet this girl, too. 🙂 All the best to you!

      Reply
  27. Pingback: Don’t marry a girl who climbs mountain | Dianaruth's Journal

  28. Jerome

    Don’t Date a Girl Who Climbs Mountains. Couldn’t agree more! hahaha. Sounds very…. very familiar. XD

    I enjoy reading this blog. Thanks nagbabasangpinoy!

    (bookmarked)

    Reply
  29. april charmaine (ace) adan

    nice one!!!naka-relate ako ng bongga dito.
    i love this part “You won’t be the only man in her life. She goes on climbs with other guys, hangs out with them for days, and bonds with them over hot soup in the morning and raucous laughter during socials. She’s comfortable being one of the boys and doesn’t feel the need to explain herself to anyone.”.
    may kasabihan nga daw ang mga mountainner na “di bale ng walng ligo basta may toothbrush!” hahahaha.
    congrats mam!galing!

    Reply
    1. Tintin Post author

      Kaso minsan wala na rin kahit toothbrush. Pag mahirap ang tubig sa bundok, kahit mumog di na pwede. Haha! Salamat, April!

      Reply
      1. April (ace) adan

        Haha tama pro aus Lng un kc Lahat nmn kau pre2ho ng am0y ang hininga (am0y bund0k) haha!..m0re safe cLimb to aLL of us:-)

        Reply
  30. Jen

    Great post! Very true for girls who climb.

    Ipaalam ko po Ma’am that I’ll share this to my girl climb buddies. Thanks! 🙂

    Reply
  31. Ada

    Hi Tin, I like you (this is aside form the fact that I like your writings too.) I like your wit and I like the way you write your thoughts – Fierce. I wish to see you in my future climbs! God bless! 🙂

    -A

    Reply
      1. Ada

        I told a friend about you and let her read your writings – we both agreed, you write very well. I wish I can meet you and share notes with you. Hehehe. So instafan na ako no? Freethinkers like you never fail to amaze us! Kudos!

        Reply
        1. Tintin Post author

          Now you’re putting too much pressure on me. Freethinker?! You’re killing me here. Seriously, I’m a dork. Please moderate your expectations or you’ll be very disappointed. And that is a statement of fact, not an attempt at self-deprecation or false modesty. Hehe.

          But thank you so much, really. You and your friend are very kind. 🙂

          Reply
          1. Ada

            Do not be. No other expectations are there, as you have already met ours. Dork is a wrong word – you’re witty and smart and fierce. No, thank you for entertaining us with your writings. We’ll keep reading ’em! 🙂

            Reply
            1. Tintin Post author

              Wait lang, magbe-braid muna ako ng buhok. Umabot na ata ng NLEX sa sobrang haba. Hehehe.

              Pero salamat! Natutuwa ako na na-eenjoy nyo ang mga sinusulat ko. Sana nga magkakilala rin tayo sa personal. May mga na-meet at naging kaibigan na rin ako dahil sa blog na ‘to. 🙂 Thanks again. All the best to you!

            2. Ada

              Hahaha! Natawa ako dun ah. Nainspire mo kaya ako umakyat lalo ng bundok at magsulat ng magsulat tungkol dun – bilang ako ay baguhan pa lang sa wordpress. at naadik na din mamundok. 😉 Luckily, I stumbled upon your blog! You’re welcome! I wish to see you! Continue your burning passionssss, Tin! 😉

  32. Mazuan

    i used to climb.. my gf is a climber too.. wee know each other in the jungle while tracking in the forest to the highest peak..what a memory..

    Reply
  33. Grace Dizon (@GraceDizon1)

    nice one mam tin! I am the type of girl na di nagbabasa ng blog,but this one cought my attention and worth it ang inispend kong time to read it.. I can relate with your blogs and ideas.. keep it up ma’am, looking forward to meet you sa mga climb.. 🙂 God bless! 🙂 ❤

    Reply
  34. May Ann

    ahahhaha!this blog makes me ughhhh!but there you are mountain ladies,we are strong yet it doesnt mean we are out of all the femme stuffs!
    nice catch maam!

    Reply
  35. bem

    Tin, do u know what is ‘tin-tin’ in visayan dialect?
    pardon my asking but the meaning is nakakaloka :)))

    Reply
  36. Anne Leah

    where’s my trade? 😀 i posted on the other blog ‘the guy who climbs mountains.’ a mountaineer who had been looking for love in the wrong places and forgot to consider looking up into the mountains, that’s me 🙂 i hope i don’t sound so desperate at 29 😀

    Reply
    1. Anne Leah

      a girl who climbs mountains may be headstrong, stubborn and ambitious but amidst the wilderness and spaces, she keeps just a man in her heart. despite distance and time, she knows what she wants and where she is going. Just let her be…

      Reply
    2. Tintin Post author

      I’m turning 28 in a couple of days and I’m still single. If you’re getting desperate, then I’m one year away from being screwed. So don’t. 😉

      Reply
    1. Tintin Post author

      Thanks, Judy! I was actually working on my birthday (yikes) but we went on a climb that weekend. May cute birthday cupcake na nagtraverse from Subic to San Antonio. Hehe. Dumaan pala ulit kaming Olongapo! Sayang, di ako nakapagpalibre sayo. Hahaha! 😀

      Reply
  37. demyur

    This is so cool.. I’ve heard about this topic before but just now I’ve read the entire blog and it’s 101% true.. Mabuhay ang magagandang mountaineers!

    Reply
  38. jocelyn

    i m just curious: why can’t the man go with the girl every mountain climb, so she won’t have to look for other guys to climb with? if she is that strong and independent, she would not mind to climb the mountains by herself, but she is doing this. why?
    if the girl was with the guy she love reaching the summit, staying in remote places, going through all those adventures, isn’t it the best memories they ever have in the relationship?

    Reply
    1. jocelyncheung

      sorry, some typo.

      i m just curious: why can’t the man go with the girl every mountain climb, so she won’t have to look for other guys to climb with? if she is that strong and independent, she would not mind to climb the mountains by herself, but she is NOT doing it herself. why?
      if the girl was with the guy she love reaching the summit, staying in remote places, going through all those adventures, isn’t it the best memories they ever have in the relationship?

      Reply
  39. Pingback: Don’t Date a Girl Who Rides Motorcycles… | Moterrific

  40. she

    haha, loved your blog and made me read it down to the last comment. but still kinda slow here, di maka move on sa mountain dew, softdrinks lang ba talaga yun? ehehehe

    Reply
  41. desha

    Eh Tin, just reading your blog all over again (parang pelikula lang, hahaha!!!) Di ako maka-move-on dito:

    “You won’t be the only man in her life. She goes on climbs with other guys, hangs out with them for days, and bonds with them over hot soup in the morning and raucous laughter during socials. She’s comfortable being one of the boys and doesn’t feel the need to explain herself to anyone.”

    Ahahaha!!! See you soon!!!

    Reply
  42. JC

    I love this, it is funny, challenging to boys, and catchy to readers… Your title caught a non-reader’s attention (Me!) But like you, I love to be in the mountains and go to different places, especially the undiscovered ones. Pa-share on facebook…. If you havent tried Mt. Apo… try it I went there last January 2 after my birthday..

    Reply
  43. Kaiti

    Wow I’m slightly offended. Just because a girly likes the outdoors, doesn’t mean she doesn’t like getting dressed up. Where are you getting your information to say that all girls who like to go camping and other stuff like that don’t clean up. I for one think I look amazing, smell nice, and I go camping every weekend and could probably whoop your butt if it came to doing anything outside. And now girls won’t be able to find a guy if they do that stuff just because you told them not to go out with them. So yeah, don’t say all girls are the same with something just ’cause you had a bad experience with one.

    Reply
  44. Pingback: Don’t Date a Girl Who Rides Motorcycles…

  45. Juliet Mountaineer

    It doesn’t mean that if you’re an adventurist type of girl who loves mountain climbing, being dirty and haggard on the expedition, you are not already deserving to be dated. Believed me, there are a lot of guys out there who admire those type of girls because being an adventurist girl gives extra swag factor.

    Reply
  46. Juliet Mountaineer

    Mt. Pulag is one of the hardest mountains to reached. The famous successful ascent of mt. Pulag is from mountaineer Dale Abenojar and Romeo Garduce, the 1st and 4th Filipino who reached mt. Everest. Thus, this post is really helpful, especially for those beginners.

    Reply

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