More than a year after posting, Date a Guy Who Climbs Mountains still gets a lot of attention. And I’m baffled that people actually took it seriously. Not that I’m complaining. I love the traffic it brings in. I haven’t written a new post in five months but the blog still gets decent hits mostly because of it (and this related article). So thank you, people who appreciate cheesy blog posts.
One mountaineer, however, was grumbling that it doesn’t fit him because there was no mention of aliens and UFOs. (He’s into that sort of thing, I don’t know why.) Well, that’s just the kind of statement that’ll make me go Barney Stinson on your ass. Challenge accepted!
Date a guy who climbs mountains AND hunts for UFOs. He’s the one who’s always on the lookout for flying saucers and mysterious light beams while trekking.
He will tell you that the Mayans made friends with aliens, the Stonehenge was a landing pad for spaceships, and the Tralfamadorians built the Sierra Madre by messing around with primordial Play-Doh. Conversations on the trail will be anything but ordinary.
Date a guy who religiously watches Ancient Aliens. He knows about the Nazis tinkering with advanced alien technology, Leonardo da Vinci’s secret knowledge of otherworldly beings, and the real story behind Bigfoot.
He has perfected the art of packing light and doesn’t need much on a climb. Being minimalist works well when preparing for a Martian invasion. He can live on chapati while on a four-day trek because UFO hunters have stomachs of steel and don’t need complex carbs like rice to survive.
When he looks up at the night sky, he doesn’t just see stars and constellations. He sees boundless possibilities. A friendly extraterrestrial on a bicycle floating over the moon wouldn’t be so far-fetched.
Date a guy who climbs mountains and hunts for UFOs. He will entertain you with stories of alien sightings, conspiracy theories and other Roswell-variety craziness. He will blow your mind with strange facts, obscure trivia and weird answers to questions you’ve never even thought of asking. He might be a tad confusing, slightly ridiculous and borderline insane but what the hell, normal is boring and sanity is overrated anyway.